What... the... fuck..... More like, what the fuck am I doing, is what I ask myself regularly. Why am I here, doing the things that I do. Is this the career or smith I want to craft for the rest of my life. Is this the women I want to be with, for the rest of my life. The current world I live in, is fickle. Nothing is certain now. I always feel, "up in the air", not sure what would happen in six months from now. My mind is always scrambled, like a attention deficit disordered child's mind in a colourful room.
This is why I am writing this blog. I have have other blogs. One for work/ cooking, one for my hobbies/ video games, but really nothing for myself. The "in between". The consciousness of the way I live my life without a biased opinion. Why I do what I do. No... Not why, but just the way I decided to live my life. As it happens. For right or for wrong. For I know I have done plenty of both. Maybe just a way to chronologicalize my life as it happens for myself. As a reference. To look back and better assess my actions.
Okay. to make it more simple. A God-Damn online dairy.
What I have in mind for this blog... journal... whatever you want to call it... Is to not give too many fuck while writing it. No spell check, no drafts, just pure unadulterated Matt Norgard. Yes, I am not afraid to use my real name. I have nothing to hide. For the last half of a decade or more, I have learned not to use my real name with social media. In reality though, through a crazy ex girlfriends or just me trying to avoiding people. Hell since the nineties, when the internet hit. I have learned not to give any personal information away online. I have hid my identity online. Now I don't give a fuck.
Of course I wouldn't just blatantly give my credit card, bank, or street address information online. Fuck, I barely like to let the government to know this information about myself. But really, what the fuck do we know about what "Big Brother" really knows about us. We all got cell phones, IP addresses and social security numbers. There is easier ways of tracking us without the internet, but none the less, I am getting off topic. I digress....
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
My Strange Sleeping Habits
Last night, or yesterday, whatever way you want to look at it. I slept around twenty hours. Went to bed around 6 A.M. Tuesday and woke up 1 A.M Wednesday. This isn't normal for me. I do have some fucked up sleeping habits, but that was different. Can't explain why I felt the need to sleep so long but I think it can be a good thing for me. Since I have been trying to get somewhat more of a normal sleeping habits lately.
I have always been a night owl. Stay up late and sleep until the middle of the afternoon. Half the reason I am a cook is because I can sleep in and still made it to work on time. Most people think I sleep too much, but really, I get a normal eight hours of sleep. People just can't understand that my work day starts at three in the afternoon and end as late as one in the morning. Then I like to come home and unwind, like anyone else, before bed.
Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder is what I have added to my ever growing hypochondriac list. Not that it is a sickness per-se but some people have it. It just means that our circadian rhythm is eight hours different then most people. Everything is fine and we have normal sleeping health just different. For my career it haven't been a problem, but I know it's strange for other people. When I go to sleep most of the world is getting up and ready for the day.
Once in a while I have these huge sleep sessions, like my last sleep. This fucks me up, I feel like I just missed a day completely. Since I am not working right now, I want to experiment. Going to try and stay up till a "normal" bed time. This means I am going to have to stay up for roughly twenty hours. Probably won't be that hard to do, and I should be pretty tired around nine o'clock tonight. Will in a fix to my late nights though? Will I be tired the next day at a "normal" time? Guess I will find out.
I have always been a night owl. Stay up late and sleep until the middle of the afternoon. Half the reason I am a cook is because I can sleep in and still made it to work on time. Most people think I sleep too much, but really, I get a normal eight hours of sleep. People just can't understand that my work day starts at three in the afternoon and end as late as one in the morning. Then I like to come home and unwind, like anyone else, before bed.
Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder is what I have added to my ever growing hypochondriac list. Not that it is a sickness per-se but some people have it. It just means that our circadian rhythm is eight hours different then most people. Everything is fine and we have normal sleeping health just different. For my career it haven't been a problem, but I know it's strange for other people. When I go to sleep most of the world is getting up and ready for the day.
Once in a while I have these huge sleep sessions, like my last sleep. This fucks me up, I feel like I just missed a day completely. Since I am not working right now, I want to experiment. Going to try and stay up till a "normal" bed time. This means I am going to have to stay up for roughly twenty hours. Probably won't be that hard to do, and I should be pretty tired around nine o'clock tonight. Will in a fix to my late nights though? Will I be tired the next day at a "normal" time? Guess I will find out.
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